Funny Quotes people say..

 Funny Quotes of the day that alot of people say or do every day.

• Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
• It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doub.
• I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
• Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
• Comedy is tragedy - plus time.
• Adolescence is just one big walking pimple
•  Just remember, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
• We kill people who kill people because killing people is wrong.
• We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.
• Etc. – End of Thinking Capacity.
• I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed.
• People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
• May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.
• I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.
• Madness is not the absolute key Sorrow and joy.
• Accept who you are, unless you’re a serial killer.
• Ability is what will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.
• Custody is said to be a course you study, but it is a past tense of custard.
• I plan on living forever. So far, so good
• The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless
• My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on
• Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing
• I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
• I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
• You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
• It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
• I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
• I wish to burn down my car but I only have gasoline I can't find the lighter.
• I will rather kill or Murder myself than to commit Suicide.
• I prefer committing Suicide then killing myself.
• People say love is sweet but does it really taste like Sugar and Honey.
• I wish to buy a private jet but I don't have up $10.

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